this one struck home

last night i watched Bones and the story involved the grandpa of Seeley Booth, whom he calls grandpops. and again, in the ending of the story i shed a tear.
you'd say, nothing extraordinary about me crying again because i'm such a cry baby. ok, i plea guilty.

but anyway, the story is about Seeley's grandpa staying with him for a while because he needs to move out of his retirement house. but while Seeley's solving the burnt unknown foot case with Brennan, his grandfather has been causing trouble when he's not around like being lost, burning the kitchen and forgetting to refill his medicines.

this story involves the topic about retirement homes.
and for some reasons i feel so very involved with this topic. i know you know why. because my folks are the likes of the residents in these homes. before, i felt strongly against this concept. but eventually, it won me over and thought that it's something inevitable but there must be some very good reasons for me to go with it.
very first is, YOUR LOVED ONE MUST LIKE that he'll be staying in the retirement house. of course, HE still needs to be happy and deserves to make sound choices for himself. and this is the case with Seeley's grandpops.
second, frequent VISITATIONS are a must
and third, THERE's NO OTHER OPTION available. by this i mean like there's definitely no other option available. i remember this one story segment from Balitang K where the mother - an Ulirang Ina Awardee - was asking her children if they could just build a room for her in their house where she can stay, but they still sent her to a retirement house, because they reasoned that she'll be cared more there. how sad right? your own children thinks that other people can provide more care for you than themselves. i mean who am i to judge them. they might have their own reasons. but for me, i know they'll be haunted by their mother's wishes when she passes away.

anyway, i started to write this last night on my phone but couldn't continue because my phone is not that smart enough to recognize that this text space is editable so i can't type anything. and with that, the things that had been running through my head last night popped out of the idea bubble.

all i can say is that i miss my tatay. and that old man reminded me of him. so smooth with the chicks and doesn't mind problems. when tatay died, i fully comprehended the thoughts being shared by the people who have lost their special someone -- "to show our love to them while they are alive" -- and this is exact and accurate and right on the nerve. because even though i know i have shown love and affection to my father, when he died, i felt that it was not enough. like there are still many things that i want to provide and share with him, but i can't do it anymore. i can convince myself that he'd still know my intentions cause he's just watching me from afar... but there are times when this was not enough...

but time heals and life is moving forward.